What Is Marriage Without Compassion

compassion for me means the feeling that arises when you are confronted  with other's problem or suffering and you are moved about it or motivated to help the person out of that suffering. Compassion is not the same as love at the first sights or empathy. But compassion could grow to deeper love. Why do I say that compassion could grow to deeper love? When you meet someone for the first time; it is not possible for you to love the person at a glance because you don't really know this person so well. For me, I don't really believe in the love at the first sight thing.

I have been wondering; how some people say "they just knew or something within them tell them" when they met the person who would become their husband or wife or partner. Although some people believe in this and it does work for them.
I married my husband out of my compassion for him, after which he told me series of events in his life and his relationship with women and the hole they left in his heart when they left him. I look at him and and when "he ask my hand in marriage if i'm still single" I could'nt resist him but to say yes I will and I will stay by you even in your old age." That was my first encounter of having compassion on someone and exchanging it for love.  There has been a lot of negative criticism in my marriage amongs friends, acquaintance and family but i'm not moved at all. Yes. Sometime, I felt worried and angry when my husband don't understand what i'm going through because of him.

Why do we marry? Some people we agree with me: To the African (Nigerian) marriage is 
usually held in high regard. If you get to a particular age (28-35)in Africa and you are'nt married already and start raising Kids you might be considered been cursed by your 

ancestor or the gods of the land or some evil forces.  Although the African (Nigerian) based on this notion; is tranditional belief as a Christian but I want to believe that before the missionary came to Africa, the Africa also believe in the marriage rite. The Africans perform traditional marriage. For example, in Nigeria every ethic
group perform their marriage rites according to the traditions lay down by their ancestor.
However, I will be talking on the yoruba people of the west of Nigeria traditional wedding;
In yoruba tradition: the marriage rites is been carried out in different stages. 1). The Introduction and 2). The Engagement.
1). The Introuduction: This takes place, when the family of the groom visit the bride's family. The groom visits the family of the bride in company of his parents ( father and mother) and some key members of the family.  The reason for the Introduction ceremony, is for both 
family to meet for the first time, in order to know each other. The groom's family bring few 
bottles of wine and present it to the family of the bride; who hosts the visitors.  The family of 
the bride host the visitor with any traditional meal of their choice.  During the Introduction the both family might discuss about the main traditional ceremony. At the end of the Introduction the family of the bride will give the groom's family the list of the items they will bring to perform the marriage rite.

2). The Traditional Engagement: The traditional engagement is the main marriage rite. The traditional
wedding is carried out by a contracted proffessional "Alaga Ijoko" which means the traditional master of the ceremony. The Master of Ceremony is usually a woman, she is to properly officiate and coordinate the proceeding of the occasion, so that each of the provision of the traditional is strictly adhered to. The Engagement is very important part of 


the yoruba traditional marriage and as the ceremony goes on, items listed for the 
Engagement that was given to the groom's family is presented. 

The items vary in each Yoruba Culture but the genral articles are the same.  Some of the items might include the following; bag of rice, bag of salt, 25 liters of palm oil, 20 tubers of yam, bottle of honey, kola nuts, bitter kola, alligator pepper, if they are christaian family, a bible might be included. Non edible items could include; expensive swiss lace material, pairs of shoes, wristwatch, gold jewery, head tie, a gold engagement ring (original) all packed in the luggage.  The next thing is the bride price, there is no fixed amount of money for the bride price. The bride's family say what they want and it is subject to negotiation. Some part of yoruba tribe return back the money to the groom's family and only take #50 naira note 
and say to the groom "we did'nt sell our daughter to you, you have just perform the marriage 
rites".  After this the couple may choose to do court and church wedding. 

I have been critised for not doing my traditional wedding and I feel not fulfilled for not having my church wedding. I have been wondering, about how marriage was carried out in the bible.  Through out the bible there are no descriptions of any marriage rites as it is today. Starting from the garden of eden; Adam and Eve are "married" based on the fact they are made for each other and they procreate. Jacob marries Leah by mistake, because he consummates the marriage in the darkness of a tent not because he did the marriage rites. Jesus attends the wedding in Cana which consists of a family party not a church weddding. This shows that the Africa traditional wedding should be held in high regard because it has 
some similarities with the wedding in bible.
"And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage"- John 2:2

Does the bible tells us how to find our husband or wife? The bible does not clearly stated how a man should find his wife but then most the scriptures passage refered to a man doing the finding. So it involve a lot of prayer and seeking God's face and help to find a life partner if we go by the Christain or God standard.  As we all know that marriage is good; so marriage is from God. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning"- James 1:17
Does the bible talk about age differences in marriage? There are no where in the bible, that the bible emphasized on age differences.  But based on the creation account, we can tell 
that Adam was older than Eve.  And also Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), there are no other couples in the bible where both individuals ages are given.
However, age might be important in marriage, but is'nt important as compatibility, spiritual growth
and salvation of our Soul.
Some people marry their husband or wife out of love, but then there are a lot of people who married for one reason or the other which the bible is not against. The book of first Corinthians 6:9-11 stated some very crucial reasons why a man and a woman should be married. So, therefore I see no reason for anyone to condemn or criticize or judge anyone for whoever he/she chooses to marry. Although one of the criteria to look for in a godly marriage is for you to find a man or woman who fear God and commit your marriage into the 
hand of God through prayer.
There are not perfect marriage or relationship any where you just have to find a way of balancing when things go wrong.

Nowadays, people find their spouse through different ways; some on internet, some in school, at work, church, in restaurant , in holiday, on the street, cafe, and even through friends and family.
Through friends and family is when someone connect you and your spouse together.

Further bible passage on marriage: (Matthew 19:3-9, 1John 2:27, Isaiah 62:4, 1 Thessalonias 4:1-18)


Finally, whatever reason that makes you to married or want to marry whoever you choose to marry; let your motive be pure and good.  Do not marry young one for lustful purposes, and avoid marrrying someone much older for money or heritance purpose.
The best thing to do is to seek the face of God for wisdom concerning prospective relationship. But sadly enough, a lot of people could not wait to hear from God before going into their relationship. Some claimed God spoke to them and others through dreams another through their intuition.

Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

GERMAN WEIN-STREET MARATHON

Evans Taiget of Kenya won the full marathon, while Jonan Lehmann won the half marathon.

Bockenheim, 10 April 2016: The most awaited date in the city's calendar, every two year and has been for the past 18 years (1998).
Today is the 10th marathon and more than 3,500 runners took the streets of Bockenheim city, in a display of talent and running for the endurance of the medal.

At 10.am, the full marathon runners set off from the wein gate to begin their Kilometers, the full marathon is 42.2 Kilometer while the half marathon is 21 Kilometer journey, with a lot of Germans and international runners on display in the event of the 2016 Deutsche Weinstraße Marathon.

Evans, who started the race as a pace-steter, clocked 2:20 hours as he won the race for the first time in Germany, he took part in the Mannheim Marathon in 2013 and he did not win, today he breaks the record as he won his first marathon race in Bockenheim Germany.
"This is the first time for me to win the marathon in Germany, I came for the Mannheim Marathon in Germany in 2013 but I did'nt win it"
Evans, went further to explain to us during the interview with him after the race, he said how he has thoroughly prepared for the race.
Evans who says he make three marathon and some road racing on daily basis.

Evans, who hope to be qualified to run for the Olympics game; he is a proffessional (runner) 
sport man. On like Jonas Lehmann who came first in the half marathon who is an engineer. Jonas studied engineering in the University of Kaiserslautern and the 26 year old who is a Professional building
engineer and sport (running) as his hobby.

Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

The Danger Of Gossip

According to wikipedia, "Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; the act is also known as dishing or tattling. "
A gossiper is someone who reveals or tells the secrets of friends, families or acquaintances to other persons.
"Gossipmonger; someone who enjoys talking about other people and their private lives"- dictionary.cambridge.org
However, the act of gossiping involves two or more people for it to be called gossiping. 1.The gossiper and 2. The listener of the scandal monger. Some people don't even know they are gossiping perhaps  they know it But they don't care.
Gossipers often have a way of finding or nosing for information,  they come as a friend if they are not one, but their motive is to get details of you and share it with people who don't need to know anything about you. Be careful of the person you share your weakness with, because a Gossiper Can Use The Information, against you.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF GOSSIP, I WILL ELABORATE ON TWO HERE;
1). Slander (defamation) is any verbal or written word that has to do with spreading rumors or fabricating lies about a person or group of people. (The written form of it is libel).

2). Sowing/planting seeds: this type of gossip is often said in such a manner, that will make the listener conceive notions or assumptions about a particular character. This can also be carried out by telling a person, that  what you heard (While Snooping Around For Information) is similar to the person's character. When you tell a person what was said in their absence, and you are not even sure if actually they were talking about that particular person, but based on your intent/feeling you pass the information to this person you feel the information is about, Probably because the character in the story told to you has similarities. you have done nothing but sown a seed of scorn in the heart of the person.
For example, if a Prophet or a Pastor uses a character to pass his message across to his congregation and then the next thing you do is call a member of the same church who wasn't present during the service, you go on, by saying you feel the pastors message during his ministrations, is about the person; you have just sown a seed of scorn. Because if the person you share the information with does not have the spirit of God he/she will hate or dislike the Pastor for no good reason.

Note: A Prophet or Pastor has the right to preach on any character, because it is their duty and service to humanity. If a character is ungodly, he has the right to call the person to order before it is too late. Why do I say this? The reason is not far fetched, God sent Prophets throughout history to guide and warn His people.  So therefore, the Pastors have the right to talk about any act of indiscipline in the body of Christ without any apology. Though the Pastor doesn't have to mock or ridicule a person or  their congregation while doing so.
"I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him" (Deuteronomy 18:18-19). The Prophet or Pastor has been given the authority to speak to their followers.

We are in a  generation where sin has become the tradition of christians. By the way, why should a christian gossip or slander his/her fellow sister and brother in the Lord. And when you try to correct them they say it does not matter, there is nobody they don't talk about. For me, it matters because it is written "You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord" Leviticus 19:16
We have to call for mercy concerning all the churches where gossip has eaten deep. Gossip has separated a lot of people from the churches in Germany and other parts of the world. Pastor and Prophets, in agreement with every member of the congregation, even  believers must pray against the SPIRIT OF GOSSIP. 

NOW WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT GOSSIPERS?
"Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer (Psalm 101:5).
"And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not" (1Timothy5:13). There are a lot of scriptures both in the old and new testament that warns us against slandering or tattleing.  As a christian we are to live our lifes according to the bible. Jesus is our role model and we are to live like Christ. Sometimes, our life could be the only bible some people will read in this world so we should be a good example.
Sometime ago, I started to run away from people who slander their neighbors, because most times, all they do is take part of a discussion, the part they really want you to hear and tell you just that bit, so at this point you don't have a complete picture of the entire conversation, instead what you have is a bias peice, from a gossips mouth. if you are not in the spirit you will end up listening to the gossip and say something terrible in return about the other character.

SOLUTION TO GOSSIP: The first solution will be for you to avoid telling others about yourself also avoid telling other peoples problems to others, If they have trusted you enough to confined in you.
Note: Before you choose your Elizabeth (A Trust Worthy Confidant) who you can confine in, Please pray very well about it.
Secondly: if anyone comes to you or calls you to gossip about someone with you, ask the person if you can ask the the character involved, if he/she says no then something is'nt right somewhere.
"But let your communication be, Yea, yea: Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil" (Matthew 5:37). Jesus adviced us to keep our communication simple and straight to the point.
However, the danger of gossiping is that it leaves a lasting taste of anger, bitterness, grudge, malice, even hatred to the affected person. Because each time you see or hear that people are gossiping about you it creates the feeling of insecurity and low self esteem. So be mindful of the information you pass to another.
Let me stop here before I end up writing a book on gossipping.

Further scriptures that talks on gossip:
Proverbs 16:28, Luke 12:3, James 4:17, Matthew 10:26-27, Proverbs 21:24, Colossians 3:8, James 5:9, proverbs 11:12-13

Thanks for stopping by at my blog, and reading this piece. I am also guilty of this sin of gossipping and I pray God has mercy on me and everyone who has gossiped  ignorantly in the past as we all consciously turn a new leave.

Note: I never knew, the gravity of gossips until I came to Germany. whenever someone says something bad about others I feel so hurt and keep fighting the information I just heard in my spirit. While the Gossiper is probably having a good night's rest. Not Anymore,  Now i am a free person because I have the boldness to question whoever, tries to gossip about others to me.
Don't talk just write, Don't talk just read and again I say Don't talk, just think and pray.

Written by Queendaline Angelina Schneider. 

How I Hustle To Become A Publisher

Life
What is life? Life means different thing to different people. My experience in life has made me to be more wise than my foes... Of truth " life experience is the best teacher" and the best school of  thought is the people we believe in. When I was baby I enjoyed life to the fullest. I got the best gifts from my mother. Life was indeed beautiful for me. But the story changed when I lost my mother in July 7, 1997. However, the death of my mother coursed a lot of set back for me and my siblings... I did'nt give up on my dream in life. My education was my priority in this time. When mama died I just graduated from elementary school... That was one the darkest stage of my life.  All rich family and friends  were nowhere to be found. All hope seems lost. I'm sure you will be thinking where is Daddy in this time? Hmmm! That is another story. As a Teenager I have the priviledge to experience the good and the bad times in life.

As a Teenager I intended having an NGO and to become the youngest Publisher in Nigeria... I thought because I was Privilege to have rich Family and Friends and knowing a lot of Rich and Mighty in the Society could help to actualised my dream. Again when I got series of award from debates and my Poems in high school: I thought that is the beginning of Journalism. I still remember how I chated with one of my teacher Mr Taiwo Onipede who adviced me to go to the Nigerian Institute of Journalism. I did as I was instructed by him. When I got to NIJ in that year, they just reopened the school after a long shutdown. I met Mr Taiwo Adebayo and Mr Amaso Jack. I told them  I want to publish a Magazine: tittle; Taking Nigeria to a greater height" Mr Adebayo introduced me to Mr Ademola Adegbamigbe. ( One of the desk Editor PM News paper) PM News is evening News paper in Nigeria. During the trial of my publication I met a lot of people who I actual thought will be of help in one way... I met Mr Etti formal Ojo Model College Principal. Who promised to introduce me to the Governor of Lagos State at that time ( Bola Ahmed Tinubu). After several telephone calls and meetings without any result... I move on with my life.

I gathered Materials from Students and Institutions for the publication of my Magazine. All these Materials ended up in Lagos State University; when the actor Sola Fosudo of the English Department in LASU ( lagos state university) introduced me to lecturer Yomi Ogunwumi to edit my work. I knew it was not going to be easy and no one is going to pay her for the job. She showed me positive energy and that made me to believe in her... I did all I could to make sure this dream come through. After a lot of disappointment; I continue with my life. As a child, I said when I grow up i'm going to have a Domain , I don't know if this word exist then; I remember someone once asked me what is a Domain? And I replied it is a place where people will come and eat and drink without money. It is HOPE house. I dream of having a church, market and home for the homeless in my Domain.  This is my biggest dream yet to be actualised. I also shared my Magazine view with Jacquelyn K. Heasley who
was very happy and ready to support...  I may not be where I want to be in life but one day I will get there.

I am using this oppertunity to reach out to everyone who will come across this post to help as many people they can help. Many orphans are crying for food in Africa and thousand of them die every year as a result of starvation. Hmmmm what a life! Less I forget, please suport new NGOs I see this as a way of development. Let start from the grass root. My younger sister just launched one recently. All the way, this is part the story of my life. Still fighting to launch my NGO here Germany along side with some like minds. Tag: Movement against poverty and disease in Africa ( MAP).

Written by Queendaline Olasimbo (Angelina Ebiniyi) Schneider.

Hustling Life In Europe

Europe as it is, to many people living in an under-developing or third world country is the land of greener pastures; as America is said to be "the land of opportunity".
Many immigrants come to Europe for greener pastures only to be faced with a harsh reality-- there is no such thing as greener pastures. Some end their lives in prison or refugee camp while others are living in deep depression.

In recent times, I have become so judgemental of black living in Europe; particularly Nigerians. This is as a result of the story i was told when come in contact with some Africans (blacks) here in Germany. Most of these people came to Europe with only visiting Visa and never returned to their country. Of course this might not be news to some people but then to me it was news and i find it very interesting and very touching because i live here and i have seen a lot of these people...

Most times, i have sympathy on some and others i puzzled because of the stories these people tells the European government are unimaginable. On the other hand, they look at the blacks people as... who cannot be trusted. And as people who are not intelligent. 
For instance, a preacher who graduated here as an Engineer said that "even when you seems to be brilliant or intelligent than their citizen, you can not get the same grade with them. " Another example, my classmate in my language course saw my passport and asked me if that is a refugee passport? I quickly answered and said no, this is a Nigerian passport and i showed him all the previous visas on my passport. I don't even blame him because most blacks or Nigerians don't even have their passport anymore. Some throw their passport away because they want an EU passport. 

I began to wonder, why? Because some of These people are Christians and they tells a lot of lies, forged documents and even fabricated stories just to have their stay in Europe. I am so irritated with my people, because i believe in the illusion; that all these blacks (African) who are living illegal in Europe are the reasons why the European look down on blacks (Africans) generally. Even though, there are other European who are not in the EU or Asia who are also migrating to other areas in Europe or USA for better living yet the black people are being treated unfair in Europe and other part of the world. 

I am so worried after seeing and hearing how people live here. Some who are graduates-
OND, HND and even master holder- are now bus drivers in Europe. ( few learn other profession and other went back to university here as well; in order to work in a better position or to earn a good wages to will enable them to have a good standard of living). 
After spending and investing so much in their education back home. 

I have truly repented  for being too quick to judge other people.... After reading about the news of the girls who were taken away from school during their examination and the bombing in Nigeria, it is enough reason for people in this state to seek for a place of refuge. Nevertheless, there are right ways of going about it, if people want to see the other part of 
the world or if they want to explore the world. 

Meanwhile, i have been wondering and searching for an answer, for these questions: why is it that they are no Africa country that is yet developed? Why is it that even born-again 
Christians have to lie or do some certain things that are not biblical before they can make way? I heard our President (President Goodluck Jonathan ) said that Nigeria is not poor but 
the money is not in circulation. Why is the money not in circulation if the country is rich as claimed?

I want to use this oppertunity to inform some brilliant young ones out there to please Apply for Student visa in other developed countries instead of coming for visiting and seeking  for asylum in Europe or else where. Nigeria have got a lot of intelligent and talented youth. 
Dream Big, don't  dream of coming to Europe to work as cleaner or live on social welfare. 
Build yourself. Think of people like Prof. Wole Soyinka among others who can be rank internationally. AND PLEASE, #bringbackourgirls# they need the Education.

Queendaline Schneider. 

THE EVIL ACTS OF THE BOKO HARAM

I have not written or discussed about the Boko Haram, until I viewed one of the most recent video of the sect. In this video the leader of the sect Abubakar Shekau said, " Our fighters stormed the Bama barracks" while seated on a mat and flanked by a group of armed men. " This is a victory from Allah,"he said, and claimed to have destroyed "21 armoured tanks, killed multitudes in the deadly attack. He also said that, his men would have eaten their enemies, but Allah forbids cannibalism.

Boko Haram, I have good news for you. Jesus loves you! It is not too late to turn a new leaf. Let us live in peace with one another. Make love and not war. If you claim that you are fighting for Islam religion, I want to believe that the Islam is a peaceful religion as claimed. Why don't you leave the fight and judgement for the almighty Allah. I hope you are not being use by some politician... Stop sacrificing innocent soul for nothing... You are not the first to kill people, don't feel like a hero. Do you have a family? How would you feel if someone kill your entire family in one day for a cause they knew not? I think, this is part of the reason some European do not believe in any religion. 

Boko Haram meaning Western Education is forbiden: I want to inform you that Western Education is part of civilization and it has nothing to do with any religion. And I want to let you know that it might be difficult for us as Nigerians to understand each other due to the various ethic group in the country. I want to agree, that Western Education is very important as it create room for easy communication. For instance, if you have not spoken in english in your video, no one would have understood your course. Expect for your ethic group, and I believe the message is not for them only. It was a national message and that was the why you used the official language (English language) in your videos... Hehe lol! I can not believe in this 21st Century they are still people like you who are being used to destroye humanity all in the name of one religion or politics or whatever reason.
However, my question is this; How would you feel on the day of judgement, when you died and you are standing in front of God/Allah and you were told the religion you were practicing was the wrong religion?

What is religion without humanity?  When will you end or stop the killing? Is when you have damage lives and properties beyond any reasonable measure or when you kill or the poor people of my beloved country (Nigeria)?
Shekau , use your power to liberity Nigeria from its corrupt practice and not to allow yourself to be manipulated by the bad governance.

However, Nigeria is not a christian or muslim religion nation, both religion was introduced by European and Al Arabiya people. We have a long tradition of struggle for our national rights, reaching back to the very beginnings of white settlement who brainwash us with the so core religion. Of course GOD is so real but this people have tried to replace the existence of GOD with religion's rituals
It has not been genuine, be it academic or politics or traditional faith or denominational. With other religious worldview, to be objective, unbiased and very unfortunately this is done out of arrogance and ignorance. 

In recent time, I have be able to study about some religious. To be honest with you, of all the religiou; I found JESUS very interesting... He is the only one who has the power to forgive man sins. Jesus Christ, however, never alluded to any personal sin. Instead, Jesus forgave 


people of their sin and he is still forgive us of our sin... Buddha, never claimed that he was righteous or sinlessness. Muhammad also admitted that he was in need of forgiveness.
And now the Boko Haram claimed they are fighting for Islam by killing poor innocent children. I want us to separate religion from politics in order not to sin against our creator and humanity.
LOVE is the solution to all war.
Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

MALALA

Though i maybe a child, i have a right. Though i maybe a girl, yes i need education. I maybe poor and needy but i have a voice. Not the Government of the nation or money can deprived me of this right. Nor Religion can take this right from me. Not only I have this right but all the female in the world.

Written by Queendaline Schneider
Dedicated to Malala Yousafzai.