What is the reason for an older man

As I sat in the pastor’s office with my friend… “Why older men?” The pastor’s question surprised us, and for a moment, we looked at each other, unsure how to answer. Eventually, we concluded that older men tend to be more caring and possibly less weighed down by the pressures that younger men experience. However, as I thought about our response, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a superficial explanation. In reality, the reasons young women choose to be with older men are complicated and diverse.

In many regions of Africa, for example, poverty can lead families to marry their daughters off to wealthier, older men, hoping for a better future. I recalled my childhood in Nigeria, where the traditions of my Muslim neighbors dictated that a baby girl’s future husband would come with gifts, a practice that seems both outdated and disturbing in today’s society. People often assume that young girls marry older men mainly for financial stability or social status. While it’s true that many do, I think the reasons are much more complex. Some young women feel societal pressure to marry, fearing they may never meet “Mr. Right.” Others might follow the examples set by those around them, thinking that marrying an older man is simply the way things are done. Still, I can’t help but question the wisdom of such decisions. How can a man who is decades older than a girl genuinely respect her as an equal partner? It’s a concerning thought, especially when I think of stories like that of Regina Daniels, a young actress married to an older man. Despite the glamour and luxury she seems to enjoy, she recently expressed her feelings of lack of freedom in her marriage and experiences of abuse. I’ve witnessed older men treating young women as if they are mere possessions, their youth taken advantage of under the pretense of love. The notion that an older man deserves happiness at the cost of a young woman’s joy.. What about the emotional impact? What about the psychological effects of marrying someone who could be your grandfather?

As I reflect on these matters, I sense a pressing need. Young women should rethink their decisions. While marrying an older man might seem attractive, the truth can be much more complex than it looks. We need to support relationships founded on mutual respect and equality, instead of those that continue cycles of control and dependency. Enough is enough. It’s time to reshape our understanding of love and partnership. I pray for every young woman in an abusive relationship, especially with older men, that you find freedom. Marriage is a wonderful thing. I hope this generation and those to follow will choose their partners wisely. Don’t marry for convenience. Marry for love and peace of mind. Everyone has the right to marry whomever they choose, but let's refrain from normalizing certain behaviors in our society. Shalom Photo credits to Regina Daniels's Instagram account.