Abuse relationship: He insults me about scars I didn't have before we married

As a woman, there are three fundamental things you should never tolerate from a man. To better understand this, let's draw parallels to the teachings of Jesus. When examining what Jesus rejected, it becomes clear what he chose to affirm. He did not dismiss the Old Testament; rather, he stepped away from its flawed interpretations prevalent in his era. For instance, Jesus upheld the true meaning of Deuteronomy 24:1 while shedding light on an often-overlooked clause in the Old Testament regarding marriage and divorce. One notable example is Exodus 21:10-11, which acknowledges a spouse’s rights within the marriage covenant, including food, clothing, and love. This applied even to a slave wife. If these rights were neglected, the injured spouse was permitted to pursue divorce. Interestingly, women, too, had the right to seek divorce for neglect. In these cases, the man was required to grant a formal certificate of separation. If a man refused to comply willingly, legal measures were enforced—even leading to physical coercion by the courts. With this groundwork in mind, here are three things you should never tolerate in relationships: 1) Disrespect and Abuse: Leave any man who belittles you or mocks your pain or scars—especially when those scars represent battles you’ve endured over time, even before marriage. Abuse has no justification, whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological. No religious obligation or societal expectation is worth compromising your dignity and well-being. Value yourself above all else because mental wounds are far harder to heal than physical ones. You are a precious being, worthy of love and respect. Remember that what you see in your reflection is more than skin deep—it’s a reflection of your intellect and your worth as a person. Take care of your mental health and never allow anyone to diminish it. As it is often said, the human heart can harbor wickedness beyond comprehension—an unfortunate but relevant truth. Protect yourself from toxic relationships that only drain your emotional vitality. 2) Exploitation and Selfishness: Guard yourself against men who only appear in your life when they have something to gain. It’s heartbreaking but true that some people will use your intelligence, kindness, or resources to further their own goals, leaving you behind once they're satisfied. This is particularly critical for women living in countries with inadequate protections against exploitation or abuse. Where the law fails to protect you, knowledge and preparation become essential—seek support and protection through qualified legal advice before it's too late. Countless stories have emerged of women, particularly in parts of Africa such as Nigeria, who’ve endured cruelty and injustice at the hands of so-called husbands, sometimes with devastating results. Let me be clear: marriage, while sacred and intended to be a lifelong commitment, is not a matter of life and death. Its original purpose has been misinterpreted and taken advantage of by some to maintain power or control in unhealthy ways. If you find yourself in such a marriage, remember this vow—'for better or for worse'—should not mean tolerating harm or injustice. 3) Infidelity and Neglect: Biblical teachings on marriage emphasize faithfulness and mutual respect. Infidelity is one of the few valid reasons for divorce according to scripture (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15). Betrayal in any relationship erodes trust and dignity. If you find that kind of disloyalty or consistent neglect in your marriage or partnership, have the courage to walk away. By doing so, you empower yourself to rebuild your life and embrace a future filled with integrity and respect. Remember, staying in a marriage despite infidelity won’t restore its foundation. Particularly troubling are instances of men engaging with other women while disregarding their partners’ contributions—whether educationally, professionally, or personally. Such behavior indicates poor character and a lack of maturity. In conclusion, love can be one of life’s greatest blessings when shared with the right person—but not at the expense of respect, self-worth, or dignity. Marriage and relationships thrive on mutual support, love, trust, and commitment—not toxicity or betrayal. There’s much more to explore on this topic, but for now, I’ll leave it here: value yourself enough to walk away from anything that does not serve your happiness or honor your soul. Life is precious—you deserve better if these boundaries are crossed again and again. Disclaimer - The content of this blog is not related to my relationship.