compassion for me means the feeling that arises when you are confronted with other's problem or suffering and you are moved about it or motivated to help the person out of that suffering. Compassion is not the same as love at the first sights or empathy. But compassion could grow to deeper love. Why do I say that compassion could grow to deeper love? When you meet someone for the first time; it is not possible for you to love the person at a glance because you don't really know this person so well. For me, I don't really believe in the love at the first sight thing.
I have been wondering; how some people say "they just knew or something within them tell them" when they met the person who would become their husband or wife or partner. Although some people believe in this and it does work for them.
I married my husband out of my compassion for him, after which he told me series of events in his life and his relationship with women and the hole they left in his heart when they left him. I look at him and and when "he ask my hand in marriage if i'm still single" I could'nt resist him but to say yes I will and I will stay by you even in your old age." That was my first encounter of having compassion on someone and exchanging it for love. There has been a lot of negative criticism in my marriage amongs friends, acquaintance and family but i'm not moved at all. Yes. Sometime, I felt worried and angry when my husband don't understand what i'm going through because of him.
Why do we marry? Some people we agree with me: To the African (Nigerian) marriage is
usually held in high regard. If you get to a particular age (28-35)in Africa and you are'nt married already and start raising Kids you might be considered been cursed by your
ancestor or the gods of the land or some evil forces. Although the African (Nigerian) based on this notion; is tranditional belief as a Christian but I want to believe that before the missionary came to Africa, the Africa also believe in the marriage rite. The Africans perform traditional marriage. For example, in Nigeria every ethic
group perform their marriage rites according to the traditions lay down by their ancestor.
However, I will be talking on the yoruba people of the west of Nigeria traditional wedding;
In yoruba tradition: the marriage rites is been carried out in different stages. 1). The Introduction and 2). The Engagement.
1). The Introuduction: This takes place, when the family of the groom visit the bride's family. The groom visits the family of the bride in company of his parents ( father and mother) and some key members of the family. The reason for the Introduction ceremony, is for both
family to meet for the first time, in order to know each other. The groom's family bring few
bottles of wine and present it to the family of the bride; who hosts the visitors. The family of
the bride host the visitor with any traditional meal of their choice. During the Introduction the both family might discuss about the main traditional ceremony. At the end of the Introduction the family of the bride will give the groom's family the list of the items they will bring to perform the marriage rite.
2). The Traditional Engagement: The traditional engagement is the main marriage rite. The traditional
wedding is carried out by a contracted proffessional "Alaga Ijoko" which means the traditional master of the ceremony. The Master of Ceremony is usually a woman, she is to properly officiate and coordinate the proceeding of the occasion, so that each of the provision of the traditional is strictly adhered to. The Engagement is very important part of
the yoruba traditional marriage and as the ceremony goes on, items listed for the
Engagement that was given to the groom's family is presented.
The items vary in each Yoruba Culture but the genral articles are the same. Some of the items might include the following; bag of rice, bag of salt, 25 liters of palm oil, 20 tubers of yam, bottle of honey, kola nuts, bitter kola, alligator pepper, if they are christaian family, a bible might be included. Non edible items could include; expensive swiss lace material, pairs of shoes, wristwatch, gold jewery, head tie, a gold engagement ring (original) all packed in the luggage. The next thing is the bride price, there is no fixed amount of money for the bride price. The bride's family say what they want and it is subject to negotiation. Some part of yoruba tribe return back the money to the groom's family and only take #50 naira note
and say to the groom "we did'nt sell our daughter to you, you have just perform the marriage
rites". After this the couple may choose to do court and church wedding.
I have been critised for not doing my traditional wedding and I feel not fulfilled for not having my church wedding. I have been wondering, about how marriage was carried out in the bible. Through out the bible there are no descriptions of any marriage rites as it is today. Starting from the garden of eden; Adam and Eve are "married" based on the fact they are made for each other and they procreate. Jacob marries Leah by mistake, because he consummates the marriage in the darkness of a tent not because he did the marriage rites. Jesus attends the wedding in Cana which consists of a family party not a church weddding. This shows that the Africa traditional wedding should be held in high regard because it has
some similarities with the wedding in bible.
"And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage"- John 2:2
Does the bible tells us how to find our husband or wife? The bible does not clearly stated how a man should find his wife but then most the scriptures passage refered to a man doing the finding. So it involve a lot of prayer and seeking God's face and help to find a life partner if we go by the Christain or God standard. As we all know that marriage is good; so marriage is from God. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning"- James 1:17
Does the bible talk about age differences in marriage? There are no where in the bible, that the bible emphasized on age differences. But based on the creation account, we can tell
that Adam was older than Eve. And also Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), there are no other couples in the bible where both individuals ages are given.
However, age might be important in marriage, but is'nt important as compatibility, spiritual growth
and salvation of our Soul.
Some people marry their husband or wife out of love, but then there are a lot of people who married for one reason or the other which the bible is not against. The book of first Corinthians 6:9-11 stated some very crucial reasons why a man and a woman should be married. So, therefore I see no reason for anyone to condemn or criticize or judge anyone for whoever he/she chooses to marry. Although one of the criteria to look for in a godly marriage is for you to find a man or woman who fear God and commit your marriage into the
hand of God through prayer.
There are not perfect marriage or relationship any where you just have to find a way of balancing when things go wrong.
Nowadays, people find their spouse through different ways; some on internet, some in school, at work, church, in restaurant , in holiday, on the street, cafe, and even through friends and family.
Through friends and family is when someone connect you and your spouse together.
Further bible passage on marriage: (Matthew 19:3-9, 1John 2:27, Isaiah 62:4, 1 Thessalonias 4:1-18)
Finally, whatever reason that makes you to married or want to marry whoever you choose to marry; let your motive be pure and good. Do not marry young one for lustful purposes, and avoid marrrying someone much older for money or heritance purpose.
The best thing to do is to seek the face of God for wisdom concerning prospective relationship. But sadly enough, a lot of people could not wait to hear from God before going into their relationship. Some claimed God spoke to them and others through dreams another through their intuition.
Written by Queendaline Schneider.
I have been wondering; how some people say "they just knew or something within them tell them" when they met the person who would become their husband or wife or partner. Although some people believe in this and it does work for them.
I married my husband out of my compassion for him, after which he told me series of events in his life and his relationship with women and the hole they left in his heart when they left him. I look at him and and when "he ask my hand in marriage if i'm still single" I could'nt resist him but to say yes I will and I will stay by you even in your old age." That was my first encounter of having compassion on someone and exchanging it for love. There has been a lot of negative criticism in my marriage amongs friends, acquaintance and family but i'm not moved at all. Yes. Sometime, I felt worried and angry when my husband don't understand what i'm going through because of him.
Why do we marry? Some people we agree with me: To the African (Nigerian) marriage is
usually held in high regard. If you get to a particular age (28-35)in Africa and you are'nt married already and start raising Kids you might be considered been cursed by your
ancestor or the gods of the land or some evil forces. Although the African (Nigerian) based on this notion; is tranditional belief as a Christian but I want to believe that before the missionary came to Africa, the Africa also believe in the marriage rite. The Africans perform traditional marriage. For example, in Nigeria every ethic
group perform their marriage rites according to the traditions lay down by their ancestor.
However, I will be talking on the yoruba people of the west of Nigeria traditional wedding;
In yoruba tradition: the marriage rites is been carried out in different stages. 1). The Introduction and 2). The Engagement.
1). The Introuduction: This takes place, when the family of the groom visit the bride's family. The groom visits the family of the bride in company of his parents ( father and mother) and some key members of the family. The reason for the Introduction ceremony, is for both
family to meet for the first time, in order to know each other. The groom's family bring few
bottles of wine and present it to the family of the bride; who hosts the visitors. The family of
the bride host the visitor with any traditional meal of their choice. During the Introduction the both family might discuss about the main traditional ceremony. At the end of the Introduction the family of the bride will give the groom's family the list of the items they will bring to perform the marriage rite.
2). The Traditional Engagement: The traditional engagement is the main marriage rite. The traditional
wedding is carried out by a contracted proffessional "Alaga Ijoko" which means the traditional master of the ceremony. The Master of Ceremony is usually a woman, she is to properly officiate and coordinate the proceeding of the occasion, so that each of the provision of the traditional is strictly adhered to. The Engagement is very important part of
the yoruba traditional marriage and as the ceremony goes on, items listed for the
Engagement that was given to the groom's family is presented.
The items vary in each Yoruba Culture but the genral articles are the same. Some of the items might include the following; bag of rice, bag of salt, 25 liters of palm oil, 20 tubers of yam, bottle of honey, kola nuts, bitter kola, alligator pepper, if they are christaian family, a bible might be included. Non edible items could include; expensive swiss lace material, pairs of shoes, wristwatch, gold jewery, head tie, a gold engagement ring (original) all packed in the luggage. The next thing is the bride price, there is no fixed amount of money for the bride price. The bride's family say what they want and it is subject to negotiation. Some part of yoruba tribe return back the money to the groom's family and only take #50 naira note
and say to the groom "we did'nt sell our daughter to you, you have just perform the marriage
rites". After this the couple may choose to do court and church wedding.
I have been critised for not doing my traditional wedding and I feel not fulfilled for not having my church wedding. I have been wondering, about how marriage was carried out in the bible. Through out the bible there are no descriptions of any marriage rites as it is today. Starting from the garden of eden; Adam and Eve are "married" based on the fact they are made for each other and they procreate. Jacob marries Leah by mistake, because he consummates the marriage in the darkness of a tent not because he did the marriage rites. Jesus attends the wedding in Cana which consists of a family party not a church weddding. This shows that the Africa traditional wedding should be held in high regard because it has
some similarities with the wedding in bible.
"And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage"- John 2:2
Does the bible tells us how to find our husband or wife? The bible does not clearly stated how a man should find his wife but then most the scriptures passage refered to a man doing the finding. So it involve a lot of prayer and seeking God's face and help to find a life partner if we go by the Christain or God standard. As we all know that marriage is good; so marriage is from God. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning"- James 1:17
Does the bible talk about age differences in marriage? There are no where in the bible, that the bible emphasized on age differences. But based on the creation account, we can tell
that Adam was older than Eve. And also Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), there are no other couples in the bible where both individuals ages are given.
However, age might be important in marriage, but is'nt important as compatibility, spiritual growth
and salvation of our Soul.
Some people marry their husband or wife out of love, but then there are a lot of people who married for one reason or the other which the bible is not against. The book of first Corinthians 6:9-11 stated some very crucial reasons why a man and a woman should be married. So, therefore I see no reason for anyone to condemn or criticize or judge anyone for whoever he/she chooses to marry. Although one of the criteria to look for in a godly marriage is for you to find a man or woman who fear God and commit your marriage into the
hand of God through prayer.
There are not perfect marriage or relationship any where you just have to find a way of balancing when things go wrong.
Nowadays, people find their spouse through different ways; some on internet, some in school, at work, church, in restaurant , in holiday, on the street, cafe, and even through friends and family.
Through friends and family is when someone connect you and your spouse together.
Further bible passage on marriage: (Matthew 19:3-9, 1John 2:27, Isaiah 62:4, 1 Thessalonias 4:1-18)
Finally, whatever reason that makes you to married or want to marry whoever you choose to marry; let your motive be pure and good. Do not marry young one for lustful purposes, and avoid marrrying someone much older for money or heritance purpose.
The best thing to do is to seek the face of God for wisdom concerning prospective relationship. But sadly enough, a lot of people could not wait to hear from God before going into their relationship. Some claimed God spoke to them and others through dreams another through their intuition.
Written by Queendaline Schneider.
2 comments:
May God continue to bless this Union
Amen in Jesus name. Thank you.
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