What I Tag The 7 Power Points To Overcome Loneliness

Loneliness is the act of any unpleasant emotional reaction to isolation or lack of friendship or companionship. 
Humans are designed as social animals that needs to interact with its fellow being on a daily basis. As a social being we must learn to interact with people at all times without problem, any time and any where.
Some research have previously shown that loneliness can be prevalent throughout society amongs some class of people; for instance, among people in marriage, relationship, family, and people who have successful careers. I believe this to some extent because you can be married or in relationship and still be very lonely. You can have a successful career or a good job and still be lonely. The truth is, there is nobody in this world, that doesn't have one problem or the other to solve either directly or indirectly. because the human brain is programmed to solve a problem. If you think, you don't have any problem, that in itself, can also be a problem for others to question your state of being and happiness. Even our God the the creator of the Universe Constantly Has Problems to solve. We all  feel lonely at some point in our lifes. It is
only when we do not control our emotions in our lonely state, that it becomes a problem. 

I HAVE IDENTIFIED 7 POWER POINTS TO OVERCOME LONELINESS;
1). Go out as often as possible, Remember Loneliness is associated with people with very passive state of minds. if we let loneliness eat deep into our minds this could lead to depression. And depression kills faster than malaria. Going out of our closet, could help us fight loneliness. There is nothing as good as going out and enjoying every moment as it passes. Dress up and look nice, go to a Restaurant, A Café, The Cinema, Go around your surroundings, even the World, and Be adventurous. 
I remember vividly when I just relocated to Germany, sometimes I felt lonely because I was missing my family and friends in Lagos-Nigeria, each time I remember a happy memory, I felt more lonely. Since I was new in Germany, I had no one to talk to apart from my husband, who works for over 12 hours (Monday-Friday). 
All that changed the moment I started going out, I became a different person,  I got to meet and 
talk to people and I got to know more about my community. For Me, the only reason why there are not many cases of depression in Nigeria (Africa) is because the people know how to have a good time. They enjoy life to the fullest, no matter the Circumstance. Thereby, managing  their stress level and fighting  loneliness.

2). Make your family your friends: Developing good relationship with our family is very key. This enables us share some of our deepest fears without  the fear of being judged or ridiculed. It also fosters a stronger bond. The time shared with family is priceless.

3). Meet New People and Talk: Tell your problems or pour your heart to a stranger; if this gives you the security of protecting yourself, without being tagged with your problem, Then why not. 
telling it to a total stranger is the best. Sometimes, we meet people for the first time, and it looks like we have known them 
for ages. I have met people in the Café, Resturants, Train and even while walking in the forest and we talk about everything like we were best friends and in the end everyone goes their separate ways. Isn't that amazing, that we can talk with strangers because we don't get to see each other again and the memories goes on. "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others"- Philippian 2:4

4). Read your bible and join a group: Still the thought, of always thinking about 
yourself. instead read your bible and meditate on it. Get a place Where you can volunteer. Focus on helping others. When you help others you feel accomplished, that way you pay less attention on your lonely thoughts. Do good for others, wish others well in life, also smile at  people when you go out, what a great joy it brings. Don't forget a little kindness goes a long way. 

5). Make new friends: Find new people you share the same interests with. Having  people of the same personality, is a natural way for beginning a good friendship because you naturally push and drive each other. Cut off from any one who drags you 
down or people with negative energy.

6). Love yourself. Take good care of yourself and always look good. I think loneliness sometimes comes from the feeling of rejection, thoughts of not being who you would like to be, or being in a wrong relationship, or not having anyone appreciating you. Looking good will make us look attractive to other people and the feeling that comes from getting complements, Is Amazing. 
One of the victim of depression i'm working with at my place of work; I saw her yesterday looking very good, and I said  to her you look good today and she smiled and said someone else told her same and she was very happy about it. I really wish her quick recovery from her state of loneliness. She had isolated herself for over one one year without coming out or talking to people. Now, she is getting better and I always look forward to meeting with her every friday.  
Loneliness is painful and it can make you begin to feel that you are an outcast, you just have to 
love yourself and accept who you are because that is how nature has made you. Don't compare your life with that of others.

7). Pray: Praying can never be over emphasized, it does good like fine wine. 

Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

How Her Love Cuts The Red Ribbon

Sharon's figure is one that gets the attention of all men. This Story, took place in Lagos
Nigeria, in the year 2014.

Sharon Patrick, a street hawker Who Sold Oranges on the streets of Lagos To help her parents. She meets Adejire who is a footballer from the UK and they start a romance.

Sharon gets engaged to Adejire and moves in with him, but soon she finds out that 

Adejire is a drug dealer and user. But she Couldnt let go because she loved him and 

at the time, she was already carrying his baby. Sharon's family were not really in support of their daughter's relationship for some reasons but Sharon will not let go because of her love for him. Whenever he used the drugs (cocaine) he will beat her till she passes out. At times, he would starve her and  fight her using weapons. Along the 
line in one of their fights she lost the pregnancy and was forced to move out of the house but Adejire will not let go, he kept coming back for her and making Promises to 

her and make her happy. Apart from the fact that he hits her, he is also a smart 
cheater. Often times, he cheats on her, then assures her that she is the only one he is in love with. After a lot of scars on her body, she decided to leave Adejire and move on with her life she also made up her mind never to settle down 

with any black man ever again. 

Few months later when  she meet Razon Rice, An American Citizen who came to work in Nigeria, and seemed to be interested in her, She knew her prayers have been answered. they both started a  romance, that led to marriage almost immediately. she 
wanted to relocate to the States since Adejire had threatened to kill her if she doesn't settle down with him. A Few Months Later, In the process of getting her life together, after she got married she discovered that her husband is  HIV positive. Armed with that knowledge, she went In To Get Herself Tested, but Her result came out Negative. since they have been having protected s*x. 
She just got out of a relationship which left her traumatized, Now she find herself in another mess. Presently they live in the state's and Razon has been violent, physically and emotionally. He threatens to use a sharp object to cut himself and use the same 

object to cut her. so that they can both be victims of the deadly virus. Now Sharons only aim is to  try to escape from home.

Note: please before you go into any relationship commit it into the hand of God and pray about it very well. No matter what will are going through in life we should'nt because of that make any costly mistake. Love is a beautiful thing because God is love. Please what advice do you have for those who might be passing through same problem. 

Wrtten: by Queendaline Schneider. 

Interesting Places I Visited

Travel as become part of me eversince I relocated to Germany. I have been doing a lot travelling since I got married. I was lucky that my husband would take me on every trip he went on, in order for me to see other cultures and how other people are living.

Travelling is like education because you learn other people cultures and you see things you have probably read in books while you were in school and historical places you have heard about in the past. Travelling helps us to appreciate life better. I have so far visited a lot of countries, big cities in Europe and I have 

travelled two continents as I look forward in visiting the rest of the continents. As an African 

child, if I did not has the opportunity to travel out of my country, I would have believe every country is currupt and lack good leadership skills like my country. 

Nigeria. Nigeria is a land filled with riches and resources, while many are been starved and a few powerful individuals exploit the masses to enriched themselves and their family. Despite having power plants available to produce electricity, there has never been costant electricity in Nigeria.I have been living in Germany for four year, there has never been power failure. There is costant electricity in the country. Travelling has help me to see the other part of the world and see the different cultures and their diversity. We are all equal but there are differences in colour, race, culture and religion. Rather than using those differences to classified people, it will be good we start learning from other people cultures and embrace it. 

One of the things I learn from travelling is other people culture and the knowledge again 

from visiting historical sites.

The most interesting places I have visited so far includes Berlin, Paris, Venice amongs other. Since I live in the West part of Germany and have visited most of the big towns in Germany but Berlin remain in my heart because there is a lot of history in the city of Berlin. There are a lot of historical sites, museums and the feeling of the West and East Berlin togetherness. " ...All free men..., I take pride in the worlds "Ich bin ein Berliner!" John F. Kennedy June 26, 1963.

Paris: is a town of history, culture, love and style. Paris is known for one of the world amazing constructure the Eiffel Tower, Palace of versailles, Arc de Triomphe, World Disney amongs other. The Eiffel Tower is 324 metres (1,063ft) tall, it is the second-tallest structure 
in France. It looks very romantic at night, with the lighting illumination. (We spent our honeymoon here and we loved it)! In
Paris love is the simple definition, no wonder, it is one of the romatic city of the world. Paris is a town that never sleep!

Venice: The city of Venice in Italy is an interesting place to visit; such a beautiful culture and surroundings. Starting from the magnificient buildings San Marco, Doge's palace

  Torre dell' Orölogio, a clock tower built. I also enjoyed the gondola ride, the San Marco church was interesting for me, as the church is said to have been in existence for over 1,500 years ago. Women are'nt allowed to wear trousers or short pants inside the church.With the gondola and water bus faires one can nearly viewed the complete Venice. My visit to Venice made me to remember the Olege village in Nigeria where my great grand parents were the first settlement. Although the Olege villiage does not have any great architecture designs like the Venice. 

And our trips would'nt have been complete without the visit to Verona for been the setting of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliette"

 I read the Romeo and Juliet novel in my High School visiting the historical house that was said to have been Juliet's balcony even though one can not ascertain this fact; yet millions of people visit, write letters to Juliet and make wish with Juliet's b**st. Such amazing love story!

Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

Why The Kenyans Are Strong In Racing (Marathon).

QUEENDALINE SCHNEIDER 

WHY THE KENYANS ARE STRONG IN RACING (MARATHON). 

Why are Kenyans winning so many marathon? Marathon demand a lot of training, focus and it might required months and years to train for marathon. Because marathon consists of longer runs in kilometers. 

During the last just concluded German Wein-Street Marathon; the relay and the toughness of the distance runners of the race have to go. I kept pounding about the training they must have done for this race. 

My observation of the last German Wein-Street Marathon shows that the Africa (Kenyans) are really strong when it come to racing; even after the full marathon Evans Taiget did not break down, while other runners where running to medical team for check up, massage and even to get a drink as fast as possible, he remain calm and strong as press men and women from the newspaper run after him for interview as the champion of the marathon race. 

Why Kenyans athletes are strong and fast: "we have advantage of walking by foot most of the time, and we eats a lot of fresh vegetables and meat"- Evans Taiget

How does the environment shape a runner? Most of the Kids in some African countries are used to running to school barefoot, they walk 5-10 kilometers to and fro to school or farm. Which, I think has some advantage because it means they grow up with the skills of running. And the region is at high altitude. On the other hand, the marathon might not be easy for some of the Europeans/Americans due to the wealther condition and eating of a lot of processed food, and the luxurious life the Kids in Europe/America enjoy. 

I think, the reason why the Kenyans are strong in running is because they walk barefoot most time, the high altitude and last the hardship in the country makes them to train well. The quest to move away from pervading poverty in their country is enough motivation to drive them to train hard enough to make the persevere and 
 the hardship that comes with winning marathons.  

What Is Marriage Without Compassion

compassion for me means the feeling that arises when you are confronted  with other's problem or suffering and you are moved about it or motivated to help the person out of that suffering. Compassion is not the same as love at the first sights or empathy. But compassion could grow to deeper love. Why do I say that compassion could grow to deeper love? When you meet someone for the first time; it is not possible for you to love the person at a glance because you don't really know this person so well. For me, I don't really believe in the love at the first sight thing.

I have been wondering; how some people say "they just knew or something within them tell them" when they met the person who would become their husband or wife or partner. Although some people believe in this and it does work for them.
I married my husband out of my compassion for him, after which he told me series of events in his life and his relationship with women and the hole they left in his heart when they left him. I look at him and and when "he ask my hand in marriage if i'm still single" I could'nt resist him but to say yes I will and I will stay by you even in your old age." That was my first encounter of having compassion on someone and exchanging it for love.  There has been a lot of negative criticism in my marriage amongs friends, acquaintance and family but i'm not moved at all. Yes. Sometime, I felt worried and angry when my husband don't understand what i'm going through because of him.

Why do we marry? Some people we agree with me: To the African (Nigerian) marriage is 
usually held in high regard. If you get to a particular age (28-35)in Africa and you are'nt married already and start raising Kids you might be considered been cursed by your 

ancestor or the gods of the land or some evil forces.  Although the African (Nigerian) based on this notion; is tranditional belief as a Christian but I want to believe that before the missionary came to Africa, the Africa also believe in the marriage rite. The Africans perform traditional marriage. For example, in Nigeria every ethic
group perform their marriage rites according to the traditions lay down by their ancestor.
However, I will be talking on the yoruba people of the west of Nigeria traditional wedding;
In yoruba tradition: the marriage rites is been carried out in different stages. 1). The Introduction and 2). The Engagement.
1). The Introuduction: This takes place, when the family of the groom visit the bride's family. The groom visits the family of the bride in company of his parents ( father and mother) and some key members of the family.  The reason for the Introduction ceremony, is for both 
family to meet for the first time, in order to know each other. The groom's family bring few 
bottles of wine and present it to the family of the bride; who hosts the visitors.  The family of 
the bride host the visitor with any traditional meal of their choice.  During the Introduction the both family might discuss about the main traditional ceremony. At the end of the Introduction the family of the bride will give the groom's family the list of the items they will bring to perform the marriage rite.

2). The Traditional Engagement: The traditional engagement is the main marriage rite. The traditional
wedding is carried out by a contracted proffessional "Alaga Ijoko" which means the traditional master of the ceremony. The Master of Ceremony is usually a woman, she is to properly officiate and coordinate the proceeding of the occasion, so that each of the provision of the traditional is strictly adhered to. The Engagement is very important part of 


the yoruba traditional marriage and as the ceremony goes on, items listed for the 
Engagement that was given to the groom's family is presented. 

The items vary in each Yoruba Culture but the genral articles are the same.  Some of the items might include the following; bag of rice, bag of salt, 25 liters of palm oil, 20 tubers of yam, bottle of honey, kola nuts, bitter kola, alligator pepper, if they are christaian family, a bible might be included. Non edible items could include; expensive swiss lace material, pairs of shoes, wristwatch, gold jewery, head tie, a gold engagement ring (original) all packed in the luggage.  The next thing is the bride price, there is no fixed amount of money for the bride price. The bride's family say what they want and it is subject to negotiation. Some part of yoruba tribe return back the money to the groom's family and only take #50 naira note 
and say to the groom "we did'nt sell our daughter to you, you have just perform the marriage 
rites".  After this the couple may choose to do court and church wedding. 

I have been critised for not doing my traditional wedding and I feel not fulfilled for not having my church wedding. I have been wondering, about how marriage was carried out in the bible.  Through out the bible there are no descriptions of any marriage rites as it is today. Starting from the garden of eden; Adam and Eve are "married" based on the fact they are made for each other and they procreate. Jacob marries Leah by mistake, because he consummates the marriage in the darkness of a tent not because he did the marriage rites. Jesus attends the wedding in Cana which consists of a family party not a church weddding. This shows that the Africa traditional wedding should be held in high regard because it has 
some similarities with the wedding in bible.
"And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage"- John 2:2

Does the bible tells us how to find our husband or wife? The bible does not clearly stated how a man should find his wife but then most the scriptures passage refered to a man doing the finding. So it involve a lot of prayer and seeking God's face and help to find a life partner if we go by the Christain or God standard.  As we all know that marriage is good; so marriage is from God. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning"- James 1:17
Does the bible talk about age differences in marriage? There are no where in the bible, that the bible emphasized on age differences.  But based on the creation account, we can tell 
that Adam was older than Eve.  And also Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), there are no other couples in the bible where both individuals ages are given.
However, age might be important in marriage, but is'nt important as compatibility, spiritual growth
and salvation of our Soul.
Some people marry their husband or wife out of love, but then there are a lot of people who married for one reason or the other which the bible is not against. The book of first Corinthians 6:9-11 stated some very crucial reasons why a man and a woman should be married. So, therefore I see no reason for anyone to condemn or criticize or judge anyone for whoever he/she chooses to marry. Although one of the criteria to look for in a godly marriage is for you to find a man or woman who fear God and commit your marriage into the 
hand of God through prayer.
There are not perfect marriage or relationship any where you just have to find a way of balancing when things go wrong.

Nowadays, people find their spouse through different ways; some on internet, some in school, at work, church, in restaurant , in holiday, on the street, cafe, and even through friends and family.
Through friends and family is when someone connect you and your spouse together.

Further bible passage on marriage: (Matthew 19:3-9, 1John 2:27, Isaiah 62:4, 1 Thessalonias 4:1-18)


Finally, whatever reason that makes you to married or want to marry whoever you choose to marry; let your motive be pure and good.  Do not marry young one for lustful purposes, and avoid marrrying someone much older for money or heritance purpose.
The best thing to do is to seek the face of God for wisdom concerning prospective relationship. But sadly enough, a lot of people could not wait to hear from God before going into their relationship. Some claimed God spoke to them and others through dreams another through their intuition.

Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

GERMAN WEIN-STREET MARATHON

Evans Taiget of Kenya won the full marathon, while Jonan Lehmann won the half marathon.

Bockenheim, 10 April 2016: The most awaited date in the city's calendar, every two year and has been for the past 18 years (1998).
Today is the 10th marathon and more than 3,500 runners took the streets of Bockenheim city, in a display of talent and running for the endurance of the medal.

At 10.am, the full marathon runners set off from the wein gate to begin their Kilometers, the full marathon is 42.2 Kilometer while the half marathon is 21 Kilometer journey, with a lot of Germans and international runners on display in the event of the 2016 Deutsche Weinstraße Marathon.

Evans, who started the race as a pace-steter, clocked 2:20 hours as he won the race for the first time in Germany, he took part in the Mannheim Marathon in 2013 and he did not win, today he breaks the record as he won his first marathon race in Bockenheim Germany.
"This is the first time for me to win the marathon in Germany, I came for the Mannheim Marathon in Germany in 2013 but I did'nt win it"
Evans, went further to explain to us during the interview with him after the race, he said how he has thoroughly prepared for the race.
Evans who says he make three marathon and some road racing on daily basis.

Evans, who hope to be qualified to run for the Olympics game; he is a proffessional (runner) 
sport man. On like Jonas Lehmann who came first in the half marathon who is an engineer. Jonas studied engineering in the University of Kaiserslautern and the 26 year old who is a Professional building
engineer and sport (running) as his hobby.

Written by Queendaline Schneider. 

The Danger Of Gossip

According to wikipedia, "Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; the act is also known as dishing or tattling. "
A gossiper is someone who reveals or tells the secrets of friends, families or acquaintances to other persons.
"Gossipmonger; someone who enjoys talking about other people and their private lives"- dictionary.cambridge.org
However, the act of gossiping involves two or more people for it to be called gossiping. 1.The gossiper and 2. The listener of the scandal monger. Some people don't even know they are gossiping perhaps  they know it But they don't care.
Gossipers often have a way of finding or nosing for information,  they come as a friend if they are not one, but their motive is to get details of you and share it with people who don't need to know anything about you. Be careful of the person you share your weakness with, because a Gossiper Can Use The Information, against you.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF GOSSIP, I WILL ELABORATE ON TWO HERE;
1). Slander (defamation) is any verbal or written word that has to do with spreading rumors or fabricating lies about a person or group of people. (The written form of it is libel).

2). Sowing/planting seeds: this type of gossip is often said in such a manner, that will make the listener conceive notions or assumptions about a particular character. This can also be carried out by telling a person, that  what you heard (While Snooping Around For Information) is similar to the person's character. When you tell a person what was said in their absence, and you are not even sure if actually they were talking about that particular person, but based on your intent/feeling you pass the information to this person you feel the information is about, Probably because the character in the story told to you has similarities. you have done nothing but sown a seed of scorn in the heart of the person.
For example, if a Prophet or a Pastor uses a character to pass his message across to his congregation and then the next thing you do is call a member of the same church who wasn't present during the service, you go on, by saying you feel the pastors message during his ministrations, is about the person; you have just sown a seed of scorn. Because if the person you share the information with does not have the spirit of God he/she will hate or dislike the Pastor for no good reason.

Note: A Prophet or Pastor has the right to preach on any character, because it is their duty and service to humanity. If a character is ungodly, he has the right to call the person to order before it is too late. Why do I say this? The reason is not far fetched, God sent Prophets throughout history to guide and warn His people.  So therefore, the Pastors have the right to talk about any act of indiscipline in the body of Christ without any apology. Though the Pastor doesn't have to mock or ridicule a person or  their congregation while doing so.
"I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him" (Deuteronomy 18:18-19). The Prophet or Pastor has been given the authority to speak to their followers.

We are in a  generation where sin has become the tradition of christians. By the way, why should a christian gossip or slander his/her fellow sister and brother in the Lord. And when you try to correct them they say it does not matter, there is nobody they don't talk about. For me, it matters because it is written "You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord" Leviticus 19:16
We have to call for mercy concerning all the churches where gossip has eaten deep. Gossip has separated a lot of people from the churches in Germany and other parts of the world. Pastor and Prophets, in agreement with every member of the congregation, even  believers must pray against the SPIRIT OF GOSSIP. 

NOW WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT GOSSIPERS?
"Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer (Psalm 101:5).
"And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not" (1Timothy5:13). There are a lot of scriptures both in the old and new testament that warns us against slandering or tattleing.  As a christian we are to live our lifes according to the bible. Jesus is our role model and we are to live like Christ. Sometimes, our life could be the only bible some people will read in this world so we should be a good example.
Sometime ago, I started to run away from people who slander their neighbors, because most times, all they do is take part of a discussion, the part they really want you to hear and tell you just that bit, so at this point you don't have a complete picture of the entire conversation, instead what you have is a bias peice, from a gossips mouth. if you are not in the spirit you will end up listening to the gossip and say something terrible in return about the other character.

SOLUTION TO GOSSIP: The first solution will be for you to avoid telling others about yourself also avoid telling other peoples problems to others, If they have trusted you enough to confined in you.
Note: Before you choose your Elizabeth (A Trust Worthy Confidant) who you can confine in, Please pray very well about it.
Secondly: if anyone comes to you or calls you to gossip about someone with you, ask the person if you can ask the the character involved, if he/she says no then something is'nt right somewhere.
"But let your communication be, Yea, yea: Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil" (Matthew 5:37). Jesus adviced us to keep our communication simple and straight to the point.
However, the danger of gossiping is that it leaves a lasting taste of anger, bitterness, grudge, malice, even hatred to the affected person. Because each time you see or hear that people are gossiping about you it creates the feeling of insecurity and low self esteem. So be mindful of the information you pass to another.
Let me stop here before I end up writing a book on gossipping.

Further scriptures that talks on gossip:
Proverbs 16:28, Luke 12:3, James 4:17, Matthew 10:26-27, Proverbs 21:24, Colossians 3:8, James 5:9, proverbs 11:12-13

Thanks for stopping by at my blog, and reading this piece. I am also guilty of this sin of gossipping and I pray God has mercy on me and everyone who has gossiped  ignorantly in the past as we all consciously turn a new leave.

Note: I never knew, the gravity of gossips until I came to Germany. whenever someone says something bad about others I feel so hurt and keep fighting the information I just heard in my spirit. While the Gossiper is probably having a good night's rest. Not Anymore,  Now i am a free person because I have the boldness to question whoever, tries to gossip about others to me.
Don't talk just write, Don't talk just read and again I say Don't talk, just think and pray.

Written by Queendaline Angelina Schneider.